Sometimes I wonder if I really wanted to be the mom.
This is not what I pictured before I had kids. I imagined days of reading books together, playing outside, doing arts and crafts, making fancy dinners, going on leisurely walks in the evenings. Picking flowers in the perfectly landscaped yard, growing huge vegetables in my weed-free garden. Me, skinny and happy...friendly all the time. I guess it was the "Stepford wife" ideal, huh?
No one told me that I would practically be living in my dirty minivan, breaking up kids' fights several times a day, begging a two year old to use the potty, picking up the same toys over and over and over and over again, drowning in laundry constantly and unable to keep up with the dishes, not to mention the rest of the house. I am constantly feeling guilty because no matter what I do or how much I try, I can never be quite good enough.
4 comments:
Can I just tell you how much I love that you just say it as it is? I don't know if everyone feels this way, but I have often had thoughts that motherhood is not at all what I expected. I liked Elder Ballards talk (Sunday afternoon conference) on motherhood, that often time the joys of motherhood are in moments. Not blissful weeks or months, just moments here and there. I didn't realize how exhausting it would be, but I can't deny that there are moments when they just melt my heart. As Supper Nanny so eloquently put it, "they don't need a clean house, they need you." Now, if I could only follow her advice and not be grouchy that my house is a mess.
I don't know if it helps, but all the girls in my ward have been raving about a book series called "Love and Logic" which teaches your kids to work/behave well based on natural consequences. I haven't tried it personally, but it sounds promising. The more the kids help out, the less work for you.
It is funny that you write about this, just today I was thinking the same thing also. I feel like there are times when I am super appricated and then other days where I think my kids act like they have not been taught anything. I like what Andrea said though, because it is in the moments, the cute things they say, but then when you see things messy I get overwhelmed and it can sometimes take away from those moments. I think we beat ourselves up to much sometimes...I have found that getting up in the morning and doing the dishes (which I hate) and get the kitchen cleaned up then I feel better even if nothing else gets done.
something latley that I saw brandon to with the kids...is that he named three areas (kids bathroom,kids bedroom, and then the family room) So he assigned the bathroom to Kayla, bedroom to maddy and the family room to Bryce. Then when the house is looking messy he tells them to go to thier areas and pick up. Well I have started doing this also..and it works great. I don't pick up after them as much anymore and they actually like to have the responsiblity. Hang in there and we are always a phone call away to talk...love ya!
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