Day Three

Day Three: A picture of the cast of your favorite show.

Raising Hope is my favorite show recently. It's so not appropriate, but it cracks me up!

Day Two

Day Two: A picture of you and the person you have been close with the longest. Angie and I have been besties for longer than I can remember! We met in nursery at church when we were two years old! Love you Angel Bee!!

Day one

Day one: a picture of yourself with 15 facts (yeah, it's an old picture, but I never get my picture taken, so this is what I've got)

1. I am a terrible housekeeper. Except for bathrooms, I don't mind cleaning those.

2. I still feel like a 17 year old on the inside.

3. I usually prefer the company of little kids to adults, especially adults I don't know well. Kids love me no matter what. I don't have to prove myself to them.

4. I devour books. When I get into one, my family hardly sees me until I am done.

5. I am in a near constant state of anxiety/insecurity. I am always afraid of doing or saying the "wrong" thing.

6. I love "busy work." Give me papers to file or forms to fill out and I am happy as a clam!

7. I love taking super hot, super bubbly baths.

8. I can cook better than most people think I can, I just don't do it often because I hate the clean up part of it.
9. I sometimes get my feelings hurt when people assume that Steve is the only one who knows how to take good pictures, or it's "his" business. The whole photography thing was my passion to begin with. He's just better with the technical side of the camera and more confident around people.

10. I hate cantaloupe. I will. not. eat. it.

11. I secretly want a really fancy car to drive super fast in.

12. I love learning languages and learning about other cultures.

13. When I grow up, I want to be the lady at the library who does story time.

14. I am slightly addicted to chips and salsa, root beer floats and any kind of bread.

15. I have the most amazing, wonderful husband in the whole world. He knows all of the terrible things about me, but loves me anyway.

30 days

So, there's this "30 days" thing floating around facebook that I want to try. I'm afraid that I'll fail epically if I try it on there, but I bet I could do it here, and even if I miss a day or two, it would be ok. So, here goes!

30 Days

Day one: a picture of yourself with 15 facts.

Day two: a picture of you and the person you have been close with the longest

Day three: a picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day four: a picture of your night

Day five: a picture of your favorite memory

Day six: a picture of the person you'd most like to trade places with for one day

Day seven: a picture of your most treasured item

Day eight: a picture that makes you laugh

Day nine: a picture of the person that has gotten you through the most

Day ten: a picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

Day eleven: a picture of something you hate

Day twelve: a picture of something you love

Day thirteen: a picture of your favorite band or artist

Day fourteen: a picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day fifteen: a picture of something you want to do before you die

Day sixteen: a picture of someone who inspires you

Day seventeen: a picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Day eighteen: a picture of your biggest insecurity

Day nineteen: a picture of you when you were little

Day twenty: a picture of where you'd like to travel

Day twenty-one: a picture of something you wish you could forget

Day twenty-two: a picture of something you wish you were better at

Day twenty-three: a picture of your favorite book

Day twenty-four: a picture of something you wish you could change

Day twenty-five: a picture of your day

Day twenty-six: a picture of something that means a lot to you

Day twenty-seven: a picture of yourself and a family member

Day twenty-eight: a picture of something you're afraid of

Day twenty-nine: a picture of something that always makes you smile

Day thirty: a picture of someone you miss

The Princess and the Pea!

Flower Addiction

Hi! My name is Heidi and I have a fabric flower addiction. There! I admitted it! :) I have been a crazy flower making fool for the past couple of months. I LOVE it! There's something about seeing my little girls wearing headbands and clippies with big ole flowers on them, or pinning on to a cute tote bag that just makes me feel happy inside. I even taught the Beehive class how to make two kinds of them for a project we made. I do have to admit that I definitely love my glue gun a little too much. I like the smell, the "power" of it (a little melted glue can fix almost anything!), how versatile it is. So, I have the best of everything. Get to use my glue gun, and make bright cheerful flowers for people.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Well, mostly bad and ugly lately, lol. There is something really wrong with me. I know it is depression/anxiety, I have dealt with that for a long time, but I'm not sure how to decide what kind it is or how I should treat it. Part of me thinks it is PPD, I had it so badly after Becka was born that I have been hyper vigilant after the other kids about taking my meds. I don't ever want to feel like that again. I thought I was doing ok this time, so I went off my meds last summer. I hate how I feel on them...like I'm in a fog. Just existing, not feeling any emotion. I'm not depressed, I'm not happy, I just am. Plus, I don't like taking anything while I am nursing if I don't have to. I was doing well until the last month or so. Because of that I am wondering if I actually have SAD instead. Last week was awful. I honestly was in bed or on the couch for 4 days straight, doing only the bare minimum I had to do. Being around a lot of people sometimes sends me into anxious, stressed out mode (Christmas was hard to deal with). I know it affects my kids. They were begging to go somewhere and I couldn't even bring myself to go outside, walk half a block down the street and get the mail. This week seems better, I've made a couple of goals for myself for this month. They are ridiculously easy and sound silly, but it's honestly where I'm at right now. They are to take a shower before I go get Rachel from school every day (11:10am) and go be outside for at least 10 minutes every day. The outside thing seems to help. This house is a dark cave and it makes me feel trapped, so getting even a tiny amount of light and fresh air makes a difference. I also wonder if it could be my hormones are still all crazy from having Ladybug and nursing, lack of sleep, etc. Maybe it's a combination of everything? I feel awful. I haven't gotten things done for other people that I was supposed to do, my house is trashed, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. Steve wants me to try going back on the medicine, so I guess I'll try it again. I wish I could help him understand why I don't like taking it. I have some friends who have suggested I try taking vitamins, especially vitamin D and iron supplements. I know I am anemic and I do have a vitamin D deficiency, so that will help me be healthier even if it doesn't help the depression. I just want to be me again. I feel like life is passing by and I am missing the joy of it all because I can't deal with things the way I used to.