Worried, again

I don't know why, but this pregnancy has worried me from the beginning. I have been anxious about the health of this baby. At my first appt, the doc couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler, so he did an ultrasound. Still couldn't find it, so he scheduled an emergency ultrasound for that same day. Luckily, we saw it and I let go of the panic that had been trying to creep in. I have just always had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something might not be quite right with this tiny baby bean. At my regular ultrasound, everything looked good, so I began to breathe easier. This morning, I got a call from the nurse saying that the doctor looked over my results and there wasn't a good picture of the baby's heart. They can't see all four chambers. They are referring me to a specialist maternal fetal medicine place for another ultrasound in hopes of finding what they need to find. I am not super worried yet, because the tech doing the u/s did mention that the way Baby was lying (sideways, back up) was making it hard to see everything. But, it does make me wonder if the feelings I've had so far have been more of a warning that just me being paranoid.

Icky sickies

Well, we have been so lucky this past fall/winter. No icky colds, Jake had a stomach bug and high fever for a couple of days, then he got strep, but that was it. Our luck finally ran out. Last Sunday, Rachel started coughing and by Tuesday was miserable, all coughing and runny nosed. Becka started on Friday and Jake last night. So far, the big kids haven't been hit as hard as Rachie was, so I am grateful for that. I am hoping that Steve and I don't get whatever it is. Right now though, all three of them have been coughing, especially when they get crazy and start running around. I am sanitizing everything around here today, both in hopes that I don't catch it and so that the preschool kids won't get it!

IT'S A......

GIRL!!!!!!

I had my ultrasound last Monday morning and found out that this one is most likely a little sister. Rachel was so excited, the first thing she said when we told her was, "Can she sleep in my room?" Jake was a little sad for a few minutes, but he is fine with it now. Keeps suggesting annoying names for her, like "Dorkas" so we call call her "Dork" for short. Nice, huh? Becka was pretty excited also!

Heat!

After 10 days of freezing, we now have heat again! Hooray! We had a new heat pump installed last Tuesday and Wednesday and I have never been so grateful for warmth! Especially since I have to get up several times a night and use the bathroom, darn pregnancy. :)

A better understanding of myself

I have recently had sort of an "ah-ha!" moment about possible reasons for my current state of anxiety about this baby and probably at least one reason for my depression all these years since I had Becka. I still have feelings and ideas moving around in my head, but I have been thinking about blogging them to get them out and (hopefully) more coherent. I'm not quite ready yet, but don't be surprised if there is a big crazy novel in the near future. :)

Freezing!

Our furnace had been quitting off and on for about three weeks and last Sunday it finally gave up the ghost. Steve had been able to get it restarted most times, but was at the end of his tricks. I went and bought a space heater, and two families in our ward each lent us one (thank goodness for good friends!), so we are able to have a little warmth. The way our house is designed though makes it hard to keep any heat in a certain room downstairs. We've been doing a lot of snuggling in blankets on the couch together, especially in the evenings. I cancelled preschool last Tuesday because didn't even have a space heater by then. We did fine on Thursday though. So, on Tuesday of next week we are getting a new heat pump! Our poor little air conditioner has been dying every summer for the past three years, and Steve gets it going again. We decided on a heat pump because it will take care of the heat and air with one unit and is a lot less expensive than buying a separate furnace and ac unit. It has been hard to get up in the mornings, knowing how chilly it gets. I now much more fully appreciate the modern heater I have taken for granted all these years!!

Smells

There is a gross smell in our house and we can't figure out where/what it is. I have been cleaning and sniffing around for two days now. I think I have it narrowed down to the kitchen, but the smell is so strong to me that I can't be in there very long before I start gagging. Thank you pregnancy nose! I am going to see if Steve will check out under the kitchen sink and under/behind the fridge for me tonight when he gets home. Until then, I am either upstairs, outside or running errands. I can't deal with it for very long.