Low again

I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I am in a cycle of self destruction. I take my meds, I start to feel good, I get lazy and stop taking them because I feel good, then about three weeks later...BAM! I am down in the depression dumps again. It gets worse and worse. Right now I feel like I am just an empty shell of a person going through the motions of life. Doing what I have to to get by. That isn't fair to my kids or Steve. I have got to figure out a way to either get out of the depression issue altogether, or continue taking my meds. I honestly want to crawl under the computer desk, curl up into a ball and sleep for hours. I don't understand why I keep doing this. Anyone have any ideas?