Too much!

I'm so tired. Just drained. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. So much has happened. I will start with the biggest news and work my way through mentioning everything else. On August 28, Grammie died. She had been diagnosed with lung cancer in July of 2011, discovered that it had also affected her brain in May of this year. She had been doing weekly chemo treatments and then went through aggressive radiation therapy as well. It completely destroyed her. The radiation really did some bad things to her. I felt helpless as I watched her suffer. She had always said that she didn't want to go that way...dwindling down to nothing and in a lot of pain. I hated watching her and knowing that she was so miserable. She started hospice care in mid July (while I was at Girls camp...that way stressful. Being three hours away and not able to go and help my mom help Gram while she started this). By her birthday (August 18), Kenny finally agreed to let Mom take her to live with her. I helped when I could, going over to help get Gram up and to the bathroom, bringing the kids over to visit, etc. On Saturday, August 25, my mom called and asked for Steve and my brother Jason to come give Grammie a blessing because she was unconscious and couldn't be woken up. I stayed with them that night, just in case something happened. After I helped get Gram ready in the morning, I went home and got the kids ready for church. I went over again on Monday morning to help. On Tuesday morning, I got ready and texted my mom to see if she wanted me to come before or after I went to the gym. She told me Grammie wasn;t up yet, so go ahead and go to the gym, then come over. I had been at the gym only about 15 minutes when she texted me to tell me that Grammie had died. Let me tell you...that was not the text I expected to see. I got there as fast as I could. I still wish I had gone there first instead of the gym. Mom had ended up getting her up and getting her to the bathroom, and all settled in. She left to go make breakfast for Grammie and when she came back, Grammie had died. If I had been there, I would have been by her bed, holding her hand and talking to her. My mom wouldn't have been alone and had to deal with it by herself for those few minutes. I feel awful about it. I wish I would have just gone over there first.
Her funeral was Sept. 1. It was really nice. Kind of overwhelming to get put together in only three days because they didn't decide on the date for it until Wednesday. Tuesday, Sept 4, we had her internment at Willamette National Cemetery. The kids started school the next day. Poor Rachie had kind of a crazy birthday since it was the day after Gram died. Our beach trip for that weekend got cancelled, and we didn't get to spend much time with Grandma Great Parker, who was in town. Life just got all topsy turvy.
I miss her so much. She was exactly the kind of person I want to be like someday.