Sad

My baby is one now! I'm seriously having issues dealing with this fact. I wanted more kids, but after the awful pregnancy and scary c-section, I'm not supposed to have any more. This makes me so, so sad. I always thought 5 would be the magic number...but between infertility issues and stupid surgical births, it isn't gonna happen. I just want her to be a baby for a bit longer. I know that someday I will have grandkids, and I have nieces and nephews, but it isn't the same. They aren't/won't be MINE. I have to let someone else be with them most of the time and take them home after a visit. Does/has anyone else feel/felt this way? Am I just nuts?