Will I ever be "normal" again?

I feel like such an awful mom/wife. I look back at the last several months and see how much I haven't done for my family. I am hoping it's because of this miserable pregnancy and that after Ladybug comes out to play, I will be able to get back into the swing of things. I can't remember the last time I made cookies for/with my kiddos, or played outside with them. I am always too tired or feeling sick to do things that I normally would do. Don't even let me get started on the state of the house. It is ridiculous. I haven't done anything but the barest of essentials for a long time, and especially after being sick for the past several weeks, I am so behind that just thinking about doing any of it makes me want to cry. So, I usually just give up part way through. I have been having dreams at night where I go into labor early or have some gathering planned and when people come and see my house they start yelling at me and saying how lazy and horrible I am because it is such a disaster. I just feel like I can't keep up with anything. I am horrible about remembering to do any of my church stuff, I have had a few people who have gotten on my case about that. Sometimes I think it might be a good idea for me to just hide in a hole until I have this baby and can feel human again. I feel like I am always busy doing something, but nothing seems to get done. Between preschool, soccer practices and games, helping at Jake's school, dance lessons, storytime, Mutual, dance festival practice, Scouts, doctor's appointments, swim lessons, driving kids everywhere, etc, I am just worn out. I'm sure Steve would like to know when I am ever going to be me again. I just keep thinking ahead to when the baby comes and by then we will be done with the lessons and sports and so some of the crazy stuff will slow down. I have thought about how nice it will be this summer when I can just relax and do nothing all day long with the kids. I am praying that I don't have a hard recovery from the c-section so that I can actually do fun things again as soon as possible. I miss doing the fun things with my family, and having a (semi) clean house. I would love to be able to have people come over without going into a panic and rushing around like a crazy person hiding the piles of laundry and other junk, and cleaning up as fast as I possibly can. Oh, and making sure no one goes upstairs, since it's pretty much a death trap up here. I keep trying to get the kids and Steve to help me out more, but it doesn't really work well. I am slowly purging through our stuff. We have WAY too much stuff in this house. I've gone through Becka's stuff and Jake's, Steve and I did most of our room, still need to tackle our closet (shudder), and last weekend we started on the garage. Need to work on Rachie's stuff, and then the kitchen, entry and downstairs closet. Hopefully I can do all of this before the baby comes so that I can actually relax and enjoy her while I am recovering. I plan on taking it very easy after this surgery. I have always done too much with the others, and especially the last time, I paid for it. I plan on hibernating in my house for at least two weeks doing nothing unless I absolutely have to. I want to make some freezer meals and plan my menus so I don't have to think much about cooking. I just hope my family understands why I have been the way I have and I hope that they can forgive me.